Lies I Believed

When I was little, there were three major lies I believed. The best/worst part of these lies was that no one told me these lies; I somehow came up with them myself.

Lie #1 

If you run a red light, a loud siren with flashing lights will sound all around your car.  Then the police will come and take you to jail.  I took red lights very seriously.

Needless to say, I was a backseat driver. I didn't want to go to juvey for my mom running red lights; or worse, get sent to live with my grandmother. Yikes. 

Lie #2

Like many little kids when I was upset with life as a five year old, I would fantasize about how I was adopted and my real parents would come for me soon.  Most of these stories I've heard the kids imagine that their real parents are royalty.  Not me; my imaginary ideal parents were Johnny and Baby.  You know, the lead characters from Dirty Dancing.  

My mom and dad. I wished.

Lie #3

This is the one that makes most think a little different about me and possibly question my intelligence. I thought the reason that one said "excuse me" after passing gas was to take away the smell.  Somehow, those magical words negated any unpleasant fumes spewing from one's mouth or anus.  (Anus sounds like such a dirty word, doesn't it?) That was the only reason I could ever come up with to acknowledge a silent but deadly poot.  Why else would you admit that you stunk up the car?

IT WAS ME!

Anyone else out there who had a vivid imagination when they were a kid? 

Prayers, Orphans, and the Mini Diva

I love my mini diva. She's smart, funny, sarcastic, beautiful, and tenderhearted. 

Isn't she pretty? She stole my heart. A few weeks ago she announced that she wasn't mean anymore. Her secret to not being mean? She prayed for herself. And that's how she said it, too:  "Momma, know why I'm not mean anymore? 'Cos I prayed for myself. So I'm not mean anymore."

Don't you just love it? She truly believes what she is taught about Jesus. That when you pray to him, he responds. My ear was in agony this past week. She prayed for my ear and for Jesus to "take the boo boo away" from my ear, then tested for God's response. By smacking me in the ear. It still hurt, so she prayed again. And kept asking me and expecting my ear to be 100% better when she checked. It took a few days for me to feel a good deal better; but I believe her little (big) prayer worked.

One more story about my girl and her generous heart. She had a friend named Martha a while back. Martha's mommy and daddy were killed in a tragic slaying. So, it was Jetta's duty to care for her orphan friend. I was not to be trusted with Martha (apparently I am the slayer of Martha's parents). Jetta loved Martha. Would you like to see a picture of Martha? I thought you would. 

That's right, boys and girls, my kid tried to befriend a roach. Sadly, there are no pictures of Martha and Jetta together, nor a family portrait with Martha and her parents. Ha! Martha didn't last two minutes in our house (yes, she was discovered in my house ). But, Jetta took the Bible verse about caring for widows and orphans seriously. Even roach orphans. For the record, lest you think I am hosting a roach resort, eviction notices were served and there has been no evidence of creepy crawlies since. Tell me I'm not alone with a kid who is hilarious in her pursuits of humanitarianism? 

In memory of Martha, her mommy, her daddy, and other relatives that were massacred in 2012. 

Worth It All

My heart is heavy today. My pastor's brother and sister in law lost their little boy in his sleep. I don't even have words. I've never met the couple or their children; but my heart aches for them. I talked with my pastor's wife earlier today and told her that I almost feel guilty for having my babies; like me having my babies is a betrayal to those who lose theirs. 

It's not really that I feel guilty for having my babies; I think I feel guilt over not spending more time with them, having more patience with them, or loving them more than I already do. When tragedies like this happen it reminds me to appreciate that I have two beautiful, crazy smart, happy, and healthy children. I look at them and cannot imagine not having them: I can't imagine what life would be like if I woke up in the morning and one of them wasn't there. Few things would be worse.

I'm sorry that this is so heavy.. But it's life. Life is hard, it's sad, it's awful, it's heavy. But it's worth it. Life is also sunny, and beautiful, and happy, and light. It's worth the awful times to have the moments we cherish. It's worth it to have hope that just as sure as we will experience heart break we will also experience joy. Life is worth living.

To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified.

Isaiah 61:3

It's a promise: God will give beauty for ashes, joy in exchange for mourning, praise for heaviness; and all so that we can be the planting of the Lord and that he would be glorified. I don't have all the answers: why do babies die? Why do children suffer abuse? Why do people have to be manipulative, mean, hurtful, and/or deceitful? We live in a world that is born into sin; we live in a world where people use their free will to fulfill their selfish desires. We live in a world where some people are stupid and just plain stink. But, we also live in a world where there are sweet, lovely, and honest people. People who would give you their first and last dollar. People who will cry with you when your parent dies or house burns down. People who will love you even when you make mistakes and hurt their feelings. People who "fill in the gaps" when your family disowns you. For all the bad in this world there is still hope. For all of the sin and hatred there is still forgiveness and love to cover it all. The theme here is that life is worth living: it's worth living through and with the contrasts. Enjoy your life. And hug your babies a little closer tonight.