Natural Woman

I'm channeling Aretha tonight. 

"Looking out on the morning rain/I used to feel uninspired/And when I knew I had to face another day/Lord it made me feel so tired."

Okay, so maybe only the first few lines of the song. I mean, if you were to see my eyebrows right now and the lack of make up you would definitely see that I am looking like a natural woman. It's been a different few days for me. And I was feeling pretty sorry for myself last night; so sorry that I was depressed about my lack of Reese's peanut butter cups in my house and the fact that one of my friends is in Kentucky for a few days/weeks/better not be months right now. (Come home now! You're all I've got left. I can't move to Kentucky-I'd freeze. Whimper.) 

Anyways. So, while I am sounding completely pathetic and destitute of anyone to feel sorry for me except for myself (my husband was at work and thus saved from having to console me and go on a junk food run), I had to find a way to console myself. I did what any other uninspired, tired, and self loathing woman would do. I went on Pinterest while I ate the kids Easter candy. And pinned recipes, DIY projects, and most importantly, anything I found with polka dots. 

And then I felt like a new woman. Who cares if all of my friends are moving a million miles away? Who cares that my kids will be leaving me for VPK soon? What's the big deal if the dishes are never completely done? There is nothing like feeling as though I've shopped, baked a flourless chocolate cake, watched a comedy, and had a complete make over to make me feel better in the late night hours. (To be clear, I was living vicariously through my Pinterest boards.) Yikes... As I read this, I'm beginning to feel as though I may need to get out of my house soon and actually shop, bake, and wear polka dots while rocking a cat eye. 

In brighter news, I am super excited to make a blog post on a review of products that I received for *FREE* from Influenster. Until that day, which will be soon, I'm off to watch Food Network and eat Reese's. Oh yes, my husband hooked me up. 

Until next time... 

Lies I Believed

When I was little, there were three major lies I believed. The best/worst part of these lies was that no one told me these lies; I somehow came up with them myself.

Lie #1 

If you run a red light, a loud siren with flashing lights will sound all around your car.  Then the police will come and take you to jail.  I took red lights very seriously.

Needless to say, I was a backseat driver. I didn't want to go to juvey for my mom running red lights; or worse, get sent to live with my grandmother. Yikes. 

Lie #2

Like many little kids when I was upset with life as a five year old, I would fantasize about how I was adopted and my real parents would come for me soon.  Most of these stories I've heard the kids imagine that their real parents are royalty.  Not me; my imaginary ideal parents were Johnny and Baby.  You know, the lead characters from Dirty Dancing.  

My mom and dad. I wished.

Lie #3

This is the one that makes most think a little different about me and possibly question my intelligence. I thought the reason that one said "excuse me" after passing gas was to take away the smell.  Somehow, those magical words negated any unpleasant fumes spewing from one's mouth or anus.  (Anus sounds like such a dirty word, doesn't it?) That was the only reason I could ever come up with to acknowledge a silent but deadly poot.  Why else would you admit that you stunk up the car?

IT WAS ME!

Anyone else out there who had a vivid imagination when they were a kid? 

Prayers, Orphans, and the Mini Diva

I love my mini diva. She's smart, funny, sarcastic, beautiful, and tenderhearted. 

Isn't she pretty? She stole my heart. A few weeks ago she announced that she wasn't mean anymore. Her secret to not being mean? She prayed for herself. And that's how she said it, too:  "Momma, know why I'm not mean anymore? 'Cos I prayed for myself. So I'm not mean anymore."

Don't you just love it? She truly believes what she is taught about Jesus. That when you pray to him, he responds. My ear was in agony this past week. She prayed for my ear and for Jesus to "take the boo boo away" from my ear, then tested for God's response. By smacking me in the ear. It still hurt, so she prayed again. And kept asking me and expecting my ear to be 100% better when she checked. It took a few days for me to feel a good deal better; but I believe her little (big) prayer worked.

One more story about my girl and her generous heart. She had a friend named Martha a while back. Martha's mommy and daddy were killed in a tragic slaying. So, it was Jetta's duty to care for her orphan friend. I was not to be trusted with Martha (apparently I am the slayer of Martha's parents). Jetta loved Martha. Would you like to see a picture of Martha? I thought you would. 

That's right, boys and girls, my kid tried to befriend a roach. Sadly, there are no pictures of Martha and Jetta together, nor a family portrait with Martha and her parents. Ha! Martha didn't last two minutes in our house (yes, she was discovered in my house ). But, Jetta took the Bible verse about caring for widows and orphans seriously. Even roach orphans. For the record, lest you think I am hosting a roach resort, eviction notices were served and there has been no evidence of creepy crawlies since. Tell me I'm not alone with a kid who is hilarious in her pursuits of humanitarianism? 

In memory of Martha, her mommy, her daddy, and other relatives that were massacred in 2012.